Notes on timid ppl

http://mooiness.com/2006/04/26/timid-people-at-work/

most times shyness is due to a lack of confidence. which means that if you can find a way to coax them out of their shell you could find a rough diamond.
sometimes its cultural. its a lot more common to find a shy Chinese/Japanese/Asian (Filipinos excluded) than say a shy Irish guy. I think us chinese are taught to shut up as a sign of respect or fear of embarassing ourselves or others. Remember back to how many asian students were brave enough to put up our hands in class and ask the lecturer a stupid question that everyone else wanted to know too.

very often people are timid because of their self-image. by 'standing up' for oneself they feel others will judge them negatively. by standing up for yourself you often feel and say things that don't correspond to how you 'idealy' view yourself (or how you see yourelf). - this is a very basic explanation given the circumstances!
you must realise that being timid is largely a learned trait. if it wasn't then it would outside your realm of possibility to act otherwise!
just keep doing it and the bad feelings will disappear with 'habituation'. its basically learning a new set of social rules and re-training your self-image. its also essential to understand that you are doing and saying nothing wrong but being assertive. which is a positive thing!


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081014213148AAkHvMo

"if you're being talked about negatively, don't be mad, on the contrary, feel honored, at least you're being talked about. It's when they're not talking you should worry because you're not important enough"

Your are shy because you gave too much importance on what people think of you, because you don't want to be judge for your actions so you think that if you stay still and let the world continue without noticing your presence everything will be alright for you ...
NO you will only waste what is call living your life as you want it nobody can live it at your place so don't give a damn about what others think of you. life only happens once don't waste your time on thinking about how to live it. don't be shy we are human, human make mistakes and that the good part of it :) give it a try nothing to loose


http://zenhabits.net/2007/11/eight-essential-tips-to-overcoming-shyness-and-making-a-good-impression/
1) Introduce Yourself.
2) Don’t Feel the Need to Qualify Yourself. - and if you make people feel good about themselves that’s the best social qualifier of all.
3) Ask More, Talk Less.
4) Be Generous. - If you reserve judgement and spend time making that person comfortable you will not only spread some good karma around but will earn their eternal gratitude.
5) Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover. - If someone is cold it is most likely because they are very shy and insecure. Remember that and don’t be shaken if someone doesn’t respond as warmly as you would like.
6) Remember a Detail
7) Compliment Others
8) Think of Others.

Meanwhiles Introduce Yourself is the best tip. I love it when people introduce themselves to me and I don’t have to stress out about doing it myself. It also gives you the impression that the person actually wants to know you. When someone doesn’t introduce themselves, a little part of me always thinks, this person doesn’t think I’m worth bothering with, silly as that sounds.

http://books.google.ca/books?id=nu844FYMDdEC&dq=timid+in+workplace&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=PAk1Ssgyae&sig=O3NrD74T9cfS8d4tFaT86e_yIo8&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result#PPA17,M1

1. stop comparing yourself to others
2. set self-confidence goals "strike up a conversation with one stranger per day"
3. always take time to prepare "answer for how are you?"
4. visualized another reality "think of a party as a one-on-one conversation with a wine?"
5. ask honest feedback
6. think small
7. give yourself options

Open minded -> curiosity -> is the antidote to shyness

Self-confidence is not a form of arrogance. It is trust in our capacity to awaken. It is both the courage to face whatever life throws at us without losing equanimity, and the humility to treat every situation we encounter as one from which we can learn.
-Steven Batchelor, author
Buddhism Without Beliefs